When i’m wronged by him…
Wen im wronged by him, sometyms i devalue the tym weve spent. I quickly forget the good things and set out to rationalize scenarios of hate. i do this rather than take up the challenge of honest confrontation. I ignore the possibility that in the act of forgiving i may have likely to discover new depths in myself. sometyms its pride. i engage rather in self-defeating which keeps me from forgiving: beliefs that if i withdraw and run from the situation i will hurt him but the absence will heal us; that in the fantasy of avoidance there can be closure; the naive hope that in hurting, humiliating, and blaming, we will be made to feel better. I fail to realize that when i refuse to engage in forgiving, it is I who assume the useless weight of hate, pain and vengeance which is neverending and weighs us instead… I gave forgiveness not because its my call, but because i sincerely believe that everybody deserves second chances. That i should let go of vengeance and misery. I do not have the monopoly of pain… Thats why let go… why will i cling to pain? There is nothing i can do about the wrongs of yesterday. And it is not mine to judge. Why will i hold on the very thing which keeps me from HOPE and LOVE? Bottomline is that- He is The man i wud want to share my life with.. the person i wud want to be with.. And with our journey, i just hope and pray, whatever happens, we will still hang on to the promise we made…
